Sadly I must retire

I was hoping that once a week wouldn't be too much of a hassle, but I was proven wrong.

I haven't any time in my day for myself, much less to blog. So, sadly, I'm going to have to stop the account.

I greatly enjoyed reading all of your blogs, and I hope you enjoyed mine. :) Maybe when my schedule clears up for good I can reactivate the account, but as of right now (and for the next handful of months), I just can't do it.

With love,
A Woman Made of Dust

How much would you pay to kiss this...?

Dear Controversy Monster,

I couldn't help but notice the drama surrounding Charlize Theron kissing another woman for charity. The lovely actress auctioned off a 25-second kiss to the highest bidder -- and got a whopping 140,000 dollars from another woman.

I myself have no issue with this; it was only a kiss and it was for charity, but there has been a firestorm surrounding the event, mostly with people sneering that she was behaving like a "lesbian whore" or that "our children don't need to see that".

What exactly are the "children" seeing? It was a kiss! And I'm sure your kids have seen people kissing before, so is the issue really that it was a woman kissing another woman, as opposed to a man? If some man had paid 140,000 to kiss Theron, would this be an issue?

Or, better yet, if it had been another attractive actress, instead of a normal looking women, would people mind? If, for example, Olive Wilde had paid the money, how would the reaction be different? Wouldn't more people be talking about how "steamy" and "hot" it was?

When I first saw the kiss I didn't think anything gay or homophobic about it; I simply saw it and silently agreed in my head that I would willingly give 140,000 to kiss her! The fact that is has been attacked with homophobic jests and comments on how she is "now a lesbian" and a "slut" really tells the world a whole lot about you.

If anything is disgusting here it's your ignorance and the fact that you opened your mouth to voice your "concerns". From the moment it hit the press, the issue has never been about concern for kids, or any other such thing.

Attack it if you must, but how dare you hide behind "concerns for the kids" and pretend the issue isn't with you. If you are going to be so bold as to make an ill-thought comment, the least you could do is stick to your guns and come out swinging; at least I could admire a small part of you for that.

With love,
A Woman Made of Dust

For the trillionth time...

I am sorry for not posting regularly lately! It's seems to be have been the weeks from hell, and I simply haven't had any time!

But that should be changing, and I'm going to get a post up this weekend, for sure. I'm not going to let myself get out of it.

However, I do have to change my green and ill-thought-out promise of posting "four to five times a week" to posting "once, maybe twice a week". I think this blog would do well as a weekly one, and that way I can have a dedicated schedule I can't back out of.

So, again, to my followers and friends, I'm sorry for being absent this last week or two, and not reading any of your blogs, either! Saturday will forever be my POST DAY, unless I have a Saturday workshop that week, in which case it will be a Friday or Sunday post.

Thanks!

With love,
A Woman Made of Dust

John and Kate plus who gives a fuck

Dear John and Kate,

I'm coming to you not as a 20-something who hates you or as a lonely no-body who has nothing better to do than get off on your misery; rather, I'm coming to you as a parent.

Granted, I'm not a parent myself, but I am helping to raise three beautiful kids, and they do treat me as a second mom, so I feel that gives me the slightest bit of authority to talk about the matter of your kids. I mean, no on else seems to give a damn about them, so I might as well!

I see your two ugly faces all over the news, calling each other a "bitch" or a "whore" or a "douche" or this and that and then I hear you both rush out, "All I care about is my kids!"

Really? Really?!

That's so funny that you say that because, honestly, if you hadn't pointed it out to me I would have never guessed you actually care about your kids. I mean, you both try your very hardest to publicly humiliate each other, air each others dirty laundry, and then drag your kids along to sit and listen as you do the interview.

It's so weird, really, because I myself would never in a million years do that the my kids. Because I love them and wouldn't want them growing up listening to people who don't even know them, much less know their parents, make judgments and "speculations" about their lives. I would die before I made it possible for my kid to stumble on a video talking about what a "bitch" their mother is or what a "dick" their father is.

And any self respecting journalist or reporter should have the decency to honor that! If the parents are willing to put their kids through hell for money and five more minutes in the spot light, the people who are giving them that time to shine should put their foot down. They should refuse to interview them or even cover anything involving them because it just fans the flames.

I know it's a business about money and ratings, but it sickens me to think people are willing to watch children suffer because of it. It makes me angry even thinking about my own kids being in that situation, because they are the silent victims. They can't give interviews or get paid millions of dollars to tell their story, and so we don't hear.

If at anytime you were ever parents to those kids, John and Kate, now would be the time to show it. By keeping your dirty laundry to yourself. And if your morals are so low as human beings you can't do that, not even for the sake of eight kids, then the "journalists" and reporters out there should slam the door in your face.

With love,
A Woman Made of Dust

Vampires are always sensitive when they are on their periods

Dear Community of Vampires,

when did you become such a laughable and sissy bunch?

Now, Twilight isn't all to blame (though I know about 89% of the fault rests on its shoulders). There were other books and movies, quite unheard of until recently, that portrayed a group of "vegetarian" vampires who didn't want to hurt humans. And they were all devilishly beautiful and sensitive, artistic even. They had feelings and cared about yours. Because they weren't "bad vampires". They were good vampires! (Like, gag me with a spoon)

I'm sure many of you real vampires, after seducing another victim, laughed off such nonsense. A vampire that wants to be your friend? How silly and novel. A vampire that feasts on bears and deer? What a ridiculous concept!

I'm sure, at first, you all shook your heads and pursed your lips. While I'm sure it's true that a few vampires have such childish and wimpy thoughts, surely it isn't all of you... right?

Wrong.

Because it seems your group is now aimed at horny 12 year old girls who don't like the fact that boys aren't cultured enough for them, and if only they could find a brooding, sensitive vampire to be their companion, that would make it all better (note to 12 year olds reading this: real boys like the above mentioned do exist, but you have to stop watching High School Musical, get off your asses and actually find them; they don't magical appear one day).

I remember as a child watching Nosferatu and sleeping with my grandmother for the next month, hiding a cross under my pillow and making sure I had something sharp ready. Because you use to be scary creatures that stalked the darkness and hid from the sun, often in a creepy coffin in the basement of a decrypted house (because you have to admit that you are a dramatic bunch).

But now-a-days you sparkle like diamonds in the sun, because it's a little less creepy and a little more friendly.

I remember when I grew up and started reading Anne Rice and Laurel K. Hamilton. Although you were cultured and classy, sexy and seductive, you were still vampires; you still killed people and sucked them dry of all their ruby red life juices. And if you found a human you liked, you kept him/her as a pet, not a companion.

I think my history teacher (who is convinced one of you is trying to kill him, so he studies you all extensively, reading every book ever published about you vampires) said it best when he threw down a copy of New Moon in rage and yelled, "VAMPIRES WANT TO FUCK YOU AND SUCK YOUR BLOOD! AND THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT AN UGLY, BUCK-TOOTHED LOSER. THEY WANT LONG LEGS, FULL LIPS AND AMAZING SEX."

So, tell me, what the hell has happened to you all? I am ashamed to admit I was every afraid of such whiny babies. It saddens me to think my children will grow up, thinking such absolute garbage about you!

I think it in both our best interests if we no longer speak to each other. I just can't bare the pain anymore.

With love,
A Woman Made of Dust

Road map

Some "issues" I will be covering soon:

• How come vampires have become such whiny bitches? What happened to the good old fashioned classy, sex fiend vampire that would as soon rip your throat out as kiss you?
• Reality TV and the people who write their scripts
  
• Jon and Kate (maybe... I'm weighing the pros and cons of touching that one)
• TV shows for children (i.e. High School musical, Sonny with a Chance, etc.)
• Stephanie Meyer (she deserves her own separate letter)

RIP

I've decided that for this blog I would like to say a little special something about all the wonderful stars who have died in the last year. It's easy to rip apart a Hollywood Starlet with no talent, but it's a rare and beautiful thing to find someone out there with talent, or who is generally a good person or is any combination of the above.

Note: I did leave some people out, most likely because I didn't like them. But feel free to leave your own RIP in the comment.

Patrick Swayze - I'm sure this is said a lot, but Dirty Dancing is the movie that got me into dancing! I was so young then, but I was mesmerized by the ways the bodies moved against each other and how sexually charged everyone was. I thought it was beautiful. I am truly Swayze Crazy!

Heath Ledge - I know he didn't die in 2009, but I'm still sad when I think about it. He was such a beautiful, talented man. He was one of the true talented actors of our generation.

Farrah Fawcett - Ahhh, who won't miss the blonde beauty? What can I say about her, except that she was freaking awesome?!

Billy Mays - You made me want to buy things because you yelled at me, and I was scared of what might happen if I didn't.... :O

Barbarella - Yes, she is a fictional character, but Robert Rodregiuz announced he wanted to remake the movie, using either Megan Fox or Angelina Joile as Berbarella. Now, while I do love Ms. Jolie, neither of those two can play Barbarella! Barbarella was sexy because of how innocent and unaware she was of her own sex appeal! Megan Fox only plays scantly clad, dirty whores, and Angelina Jolie cannot pull of the "innocent and unaware of her own sex appeal." So, in my book, Barbarella has died a tragic, horrible death.